Mend that bridge
Tomorrow is “not” too late.
Forgiveness is really hard, and it doesn’t come easy for me. I operate from a place of kindness because I believe it takes nothing to give grace or be kind. But when people hurt me, it goes deep.
Something happened tonight, though not to me. One of my friends I keep streaks with on Snapchat sent a message about ten minutes ago. I read her words, and sadness hit me. A very close relative of hers had died after just reconciling with her. She ended her note with, “Mend that bridge today,” and it’s been lingering in my mind ever since. Why is it hitting so hard?
I had a friend who once meant the world to me. He was my best friend until he did something discouraging to another friend of mine. Funny how the person he hurt was the one who posted “mend that bridge.” Life is so funny, man. He has apologized countless times, and I’ve forgiven him…but I can’t seem to forget how he embarrassed both of us. Like, why would you do that?
Many times, when he texts to apologize all over again, I remind him that I’ve made peace with the situation, and it’s fine, but we haven’t gone back to being friends like we used to. He was my best friend! One I couldn’t do anything without. He made me see my value. He was a FRIEND to me. And when I say he picked me up at my lowest, he really did. It just hurt that he could do what he did by going low and being… find me the word? Ignoble! Yes, that’s the word.
I’m not going to lie, I miss calling him my friend, but I also want to protect my boundaries. I know he’s learned his lesson, but I don’t know what to do to fully mend that bridge because lowkey, I’m okay with where we are. I just miss him so much and hopefully I don’t regret this later on.
Truth is, I don’t know how to mend this bridge. I’ve forgiven him. I really have, but forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same thing, are they?
I see my Snapchat friend grieving someone she just got back with, and I wonder if that’ll be me one day. Will I get a call that something happened to him and regret that I kept him at arm’s length? Or will I be grateful I protected my peace?
I don’t have the answer. I just know I miss him. I know I’m scared. I know forgiveness came, but trust didn’t follow. And I don’t know if I’m being wise or just afraid.
“Forgiving isn’t reconciliation” that’s the language I had been trying to use! Why is it so hard😔🥹 we all know tomorrow isn’t promised but it’s hard. Why would you even hurt me that much in the first place🥲now, I have to forgive you wholeheartedly! It is hard. Someone did something to me few days to my birthday last year,something really offensive. I was so hurt. He apologized! Made it up. Got me birthday present,gave me money. I forgave him! His birthday is in few weeks, why am I having that memory again. Why am I having the feeling of doing him the same thing days to his birthday? He apologized sincerely. He was sorry. He didn’t do it intentionally! But me? I’m having the urge to revenge
Hehe🥹 girl, I feel you. I’m as confused🚶♀️
heartfelt, i always tell people friendships cause heartbreaks to but nobody really ever listens. It will never be the same Mimi in my own perspective, but one thing i know is whatever you decide, its okay because its never linear, we all experience the world differently, so my right answer won't be right to everyone else's.